OK I'ma say it!!!

This has nothing to do with my travels, my studies or my travel plans but I am annoyed!

I am today studying in Starbucks. Getting some s*** done for my masters course work right?

The fact that I even got admitted into a masters course puts me on a level of intelligence that is not beyond most people but that appears to be recently.

In my time studying at a Starbucks in the suburb next to the suburb of Auckland that I grew up in I have made some observations. You know, as a good scientist with an interest in human behaviour and community policy does, observes the world around them. Good scientist, listen, eavesdrop, observe, pretend like I am working etc etc etc etc etc etc... blah blah blah.

Aaaanyway, yesterday there was a couple here, in their 40s on a date. A date during the day, most probably because both had children from another relationship. They were hiding the fact that they were on a date from their kids. They sounded like they wanted to do right by them. I didn't catch the full story of their split ups though.

Then! Today, there was a pair of women having coffee, both were about my age, both had babies ranging between 3 and 9 months old, BOTH were single!!!! One left her guy because everything changed once baby boy came along. Umm duh! If you didn't know that before you had unprotected sex then you probably do not want to know what I am thinking right now.

Since when has it been ok for couples to not raise the baby that they clearly had a lot of fun making together? Since when has it been ok for a woman to not let her imprisoned ex-boyfriend (?) find out about their child's milestones? Since when is it ok for a woman to cheat on her man, then go out for dinner with the other guy the day after they break up despite having a child? Since when did communities cease to care whether or not the next generation is raised with a moral compass?

SINCE WHEN?!

We hear all this stuff in the media lately about rich kids and their booze and their drugs at a prominent Auckland high school and kids dying etc. Is that because the parents have no time for them?

A community raises a child.

A community should give a damn about our kids.

Our kids are dying either at the hands of their parents, or at the hands of drugs, be they legal (ahem Kronic) or otherwise.

We need to set an example for them. We need to make things work. We need to show them how a good citizen is supposed to behave.

For goodness sake, if you want a kid make sure you pick a partner who wants you FOREVER first and foremost. Then make sure they wants you to have a baby with them. Not the other way around.

Make sure they are going to stay.

Make sure they are going to have a respectable job and not end up in the clink.

Make sure you are going to raise that kid TO-GETH-ER!

I am sick of the me me me BS that this world seems to think is ok.

It is not ok to want a human doll to play with and then to not stay with the other half of the fertilization process just because "everything changed when the baby was born". It is just not ok.

I don't know when society is going to wake up but watch out if I ever get put in charge of social development because I'ma come out guns blazing. None of this is ok!

Neither is me neglecting my study so off I go.

Rant over! (For now!)

Post script: My friend just pointed out that we shouldn't need to be having this conversation. Too true sister but it is a fact of life. Now, what to do about it without sounding like a condescending bitch face?

What’s important???

What is important in life?

No really, what is important in life?

I live in Japan. My family and a large proportion of my friends, family and others I care about live in New Zealand. In Japan, I often feel isolated. In the two weeks I just spent in NZ I, as previously mentioned, had the chance to catch up with a lot of people that I care deeply about. For the next 8 months I am really going to miss those people!

The times I spent with them got me thinking, on the plane this morning, about what I consider important in my life.

For me, every day interactions are important. The smile on my Dad’s face, for example, when he’s laughing at me for being grumpy with Mum. The calming hug Mum gave me at the airport when I was incredibly grumpy this morning. The happiness in the voice of my friend when she tells me she’s heading off to see someone she really needs to see in another country all of a sudden. The teasing that can only come from a friend who knows you really well. The chat with the smiley shop assistant at Duty Free when you’re buying your (less) expensive (than usual) perfume. The shocked look on your friend’s son’s face when you tell him to wait in his mummy’s language that stops him from running off in a crowded mall.

What’s important to me sits in how people interact, connect and communicate. It’s in the good things we can all share. The impact we can have on each other’s lives. It doesn’t sit in the sheer amount of junk I’ve managed to accumulate. Nor does it sit in the, oh so desirable, plum wine (umeshuu). It’s about interaction. About the every day run of the mill human interaction. About the kindness of others etc etc etc. It may even be about people watching. Am sitting in a cafe in an airport right now watching 20 or 30 different people all interacting with their traveling companion and it is just fascinating, even the bored people look engaged some how. It's great.

Of course it also sits in my cat, who has been my best friend for 14 years, shoving his nose in my face in the middle of the night and demanding that I get out of bed and give his self feeder a good shake even though he can get the food out himself with the right flick of a paw. Having George’s wet nose purring in my face while he paws my cheek is pure joy! I’m going to miss that fur ball!

Have you figured out my New Year’s Resolution yet???

For those that are struggling, I’ll give you a hint, it includes the words “interaction” and “meaningful”.

Love and hugs all round.

Raewyn