Reality...

Reality...

Well let's just say that the reality of my life at the moment is that since I went to Sri Lanka in August 2011 (which needs blogging, still I know), I am not going to be able to leave NZ for at least another year. I dislike this fact so I am attempting to ignore it.

In my attempts to ignore it I intend to blog about my trips to Singapore, Sri Lanka and New Zealand's Northland over the next few weeks. I also make a daily trip to London via the blog of my sister, LadyLovesCake, who is the whole reason I went to Sri Lanka last year. If I slack off on my blogging, however, it is because of the reality of my life at the moment.

The reality of my life at the moment is that it only took 18 months but I have my life back again after JET. I am so busy that I barely have time for myself (in theory).

This year I am:

1. Doing my Master of Environmental Management Thesis on base line environmental indicators for newly formed city councils.
2. Working part time as an ESL teacher subcontracted from the English School that I work for to a lovely little school nearby.
3. Working part time as an ESL, Maths and Science tutor.
4. Secretary of the Auckland Japan Exchange and Teaching Alumni Association (JETAA).
5. Involved in a political party at the electorate level.
6. Involved in a political party at the regional level.
7. Involved with the National Council of Women of New Zealand because of number 4.
8. Involved with the New Zealand Japan Society of Auckland (NZJS) on a semi-casual basis.
9. Learning to play softball with the NZJS team.
10. Considering doing some volunteer work with Antarctica New Zealand to pay my Antarctica trip 10 years ago forward.

So reality is that 10 years ago, aboard 2041, I believed that I would be traveling the world as some sort of foreign correspondenty business persony thing woman lady. The truth is that I a) live with my parents and b) am doing completely different things to what I ever would have dreamed of. The reality is that I am busy and the furthest that I get to travel this year will probably not even be as far as Dunedin.

I was at a family function the other day (Happy 70th Auntie!!!) with family that I had not seen in what feels like forever including my great aunt who makes me feel like a lazy poo poo head every time I sit down to write because she is still running around with few hearing, sight, or mobility issues at 82! I felt like a complete loser when I filled my father's cousins in on what I was up to these days, purely because I am living at home on a strict strict budget semi-reliant on my parents for the life to which I could so easily become accustomed. This is not a nice feeling even if they did have that look of understanding about the economy not being in such a flash state since 2008 when I moved to Japan.

But I have a plan and if I play my cards right will be able to return the favour (I am incredibly excited about her visit very soon) and visit LadyLovesCake in London next year en route to Africa. I am hoping that she's in a financial position to join me too maybe. ;-)

More about the past 8 months to come. There is soooo much that needs writing.

Peace, love and penguins.

Rae

My 2 cents

With only 8 days before I leave Takaoka I thought it was time I let you all know how the past 2 years has affected the course of my life. I have annual leave to use so from Wednesday this week I am going to have plenty of time to write about that.

Today, I am going to put my 2 cents into the whaling issue. It is something that prior I might have supported whole heartedly (the cause of Sea Shepherd) but now, having spent 2 years learning about this culture and these people I think my heart has changed slightly. Only slightly mind you.

2 years ago, my main experience with the issue was an experience I had just off the coast of the Antarctic Peninsula on board the yacht 2041. Our expedition leader had brought his digereedoo and decided to play it for the whales, as it had worked in the past. Within minutes of him starting to play a humpback whale approached the boat with her child. She was literally 6 feet away from me, sticking her head out of the water so that we could see each other. I looked right into the eye of this whale who had come to listen to the amazing music being played from the boat. Then I saw the baby. It was at that point that I swore I never wanted to see anything bad happen to these majestic creatures. I explained this to my Japanese friend last night too. She completely understood my view point.

However, I then proceeded to explain to her that my country was founded on whaling and sealing too. Whales and seals are so majestic and beautiful that I don't understand how anyone would want to kill them. But it happens and there are reasons for it. Hear me out here...

The Japanese are by in large opposed to whaling. They don't agree with what the government is trying to do and certainly some of them disagree with this 'it's our culture' line that's being used. Guess what guys, it's not their culture. Sure it is for some areas but it is not for all of Japan. Certainly people in Toyama prefer to upset the mating rituals of firefly squid for their delicacies. Many don't agree that it's right to go all the way to the whale sanctuary in the Southern Ocean to take whales either. But get this: A westerner suggested they use whale as a good source of protein in the first place. (When you want to talk about it being the culture of the whole of Japan). General MacArthur is responsible for whale meat making it onto the school lunch menu!!!! (According to a documentary I saw recently by an international news organisation). And now we, 60 years on, barely 3 generations, are trying to tell them to stop. Umm, yeah, sure, that computes... not. It took the West a darn sight more than 3 generations to stop whaling in the South Pacific and Southern Ocean too.

I agree that we should try to convince the Japanese to stop whaling, but we should also be doing the same with Iceland and Norway too. However, I also agree with the Japanese side here, the only illegal thing they're doing is going to the Southern Ocean to take them. That's unprofitable anyway! I don't know why they do it. They would be better off taking whales from the coast line of Japan. There are enough whales on the coast of Japan to satisfy what they need for 'research' and in a much cheaper, more traditional way. This going to the Southern Ocean thing is not their ancient tradition.

It is Japanese tradition to view whales as something that the universe has given them as a source of food though. To them, whales are not mammals, they live in the sea therefore they are fish. Until they can be convinced otherwise we will not see an end to whaling. The Japanese government is incredibly stubborn on this one.

So, I guess the past two years has changed me slightly. I could never see the Japanese side before I came here. I would laugh at the protesters standing outside the Majestic Centre in Wellington at street level when the Japanese Embassy is much higher up, but I sympathised with them. Now, I don't have so much sympathy because they are not understanding both sides and they're approaching it the wrong way (they can't hear you 18 floors up people!).

Some of my friends have pointed out that they agree with everything Pete Bethune stands for and with what he did by getting arrested and getting attention for his cause. I don't entirely disagree with his cause. I want to see an end to whaling too. If I could foresee this generation of Japanese giving up something they've had access to their whole lives I would agree that the New Zealand government is 'not doing enough'. BUT I really do disagree with Mr Bethune's methods and his line that the NZ government didn't do anything for him and is not doing anything for the whales either. The Japanese do not respond to violence or confrontation, I've tried that tactic myself at work and it doesn't work. I do, however, agree with what the Australian government is trying to do. What the Japanese are doing in the Southern Ocean, in International waters, in the Whale Sanctuary, is illegal and they should be taking to task for it. I also agree with what NZ is trying to do through the IWC. The plan to get whaling out of international waters and reduce it to local whaling is a good plan too. I foresee the demand for whale meat decreasing as the price goes up (simple economics) and it eventually not being profitable to 'fish' for them. I also foresee it decreasing as people become more and more aware of the inhumane methods that are used to take whales.

I think we all need to take a step back and look at it from all sides. I mean we eat beef, lamb, mutton, venison... how is that any different? AND there is a reason the slaughter of these animals is done behind closed doors too... in the whaling case doing it in the Southern Ocean prevents the Japanese seeing the very upsetting way their meat is caught.

I explained all of this to my friend who is from the generation who got it in her school lunch post war and she completely agreed with me. She remembers it being tough and not particularly tasty. She sure as heck doesn't want it on her plate and she sure as heck doesn't want the government of her country saying that it's her culture because it isn't. Fish is, whale is not.

Whaling should be stopped, yes, but a certain government needs convincing first and that my friends is where diplomacy comes in. Let the diplomats who know this country best do their jobs and we might see some results.

And that has been my 2 cents for the day.

I just got punched by a student... 6 weeks left in Japan.

Over the last 21 months I’ve found myself questioning cultural elements again and again. There’s a kid in one of my elementary school classes who always acts out. He just told me to die, twice. Then he flipped me the bird. So I stood beside his desk like a South Korean soldier in the demilitarized zone and didn’t stand for it. Then I spoke to the teacher and she told me that the kid has no father. I went back to his desk when the other kids were performing and made sure he let them because I’ve gotten sick of his acting out.

He then proceeded to kick my feet. When I didn’t react he grabbed the bag that has his placemat for school lunch in it and hit me with that to no avail, it’s soft, no worries at all. The next thing I know he’s attempting to punch me! I jumped out of the way of course, quite the fan of boxing as exercise even though I don’t actually do it and know when getting out of the way is required. When he missed I put my hand up for him and told him to go ahead. He punched me 4 times with progressive strength. I figured it was best to let him do it.

I am a little upset, though. Whilst my mother assures me that I dealt with the kid the best way possible, it erks me that this kid clearly isn’t getting the help that he needs to deal with the loss of his father, however that might have come about. A teacher shouldn’t need to be considering borrowing her friends boxing pads so that the kid can have an outlet for his anger each week. Mechanisms should be in place for dealing with kids like these.

Back home I have numerous friends (and a good percentage of my family) from single parent households who have turned out ok, or even gone on to have very successful lives. They know who they are and I am immensely proud of them. It breaks my heart to think that this boy is going the right way towards having a really tough life.

In 6 weeks I will leave this place for one where I can actually do something to help troubled kids or whatever. Where I can say something to make them feel better. Where I can actually explain why I am standing beside their desk hovering. Where I’ll be able to teach people who WANT to learn.

This week I am lamenting the apparent collapse in society that is meaning that more and more children are left without fathers, either through divorce, death or otherwise. This week all illusions about what a ‘perfect’ society Japan is have been relegated to was. This week in light of certain world events too, I realise that elements of this place that are tough to deal with are not going to change. I’m realising that maybe I’ve grown up a lot over the last 2 years. Things that used to irritate me no end are no longer getting to me and things like getting punched by a student whilst interesting and slightly upsetting are no biggie anymore.

Being able to brush things off like water off a duck’s back is certainly something that JET has helped me to learn. I think I can go home in 6 weeks proud of the last two years and that is a good feeling.

6 weeks of work in Japan left...

Time for some more reflections.

With less than 6 weeks to go in this job I'm starting to feel like I might miss it. I've been really busy of late and have started trying to organise to meet up with people whom I feel have been a real positive influence on my time here but have moved schools or are not associated with any of my schools. I'm starting to realise how daunting this prospect is and am thinking of setting up a management system to try to see everyone whilst maintaining a) my physical health and b) my financial health. If that means that I'm going to have to miss some JET activities in the process then so be it. Sorry JET friends, I love you but my Japanese friends will be very disappointed if I don't see them and spend all my time with you.

Over the years of moving around, first to the US as a kid, then back to NZ then changing schools then going away for university, moving to Wellington, then coming here. I've come to realise how easy it can be to just lose touch. It's strange how that happens so often. So, as part of my efforts to keep in touch with people I am planning a whole series of catch ups with the vice principal who gave me a hug the second she met me, to the crazy English teacher who is still trying to convert me to her brand of Buddhism, to the friend whom a friend introduced me to. I'm making lists. I'm going to try to see one or two of them each weekend that I have remaining, bar this weekend because I am broke and need a rest. It's going to be my mission in life to attempt to keep my ties to Takaoka and Toyama, I guess time will tell.

In the coming weeks I have JET events pouring out my ears. I have a plan to climb Hakusan on July 10th. I have the Japanese Language Proficiency Test on July 4th. I have MUCH going on. Not to mention needing to pack.

My days in my schools are numbered now. That scares me. Yesterday, my colleague and I realised that I only have one more full day at my once every 2 weeks primary school. I walked out of there just a little subdued. Just now my 3rd grade class forgot about me and I'm a little bit sad. Next time, I will remind the teacher because that is going to be my last class with them, my second and last class with them. Scary thought.

The thing is though, that I'm glad I'm leaving now. One more year here and I feel like I would form too much of an attachment to too many people. Leaving at the two year point means that I've made lasting friendships but won't cry my eyes out when I go. I WILL cry my eyes out when I say goodbye to my 'host family' in Kansai but I don't know how much I'm going to cry when I actually go. I say all this now but I'm an incredibly loyal person and emotional when I leave people and places, so we shall see soon enough.

More reflections soon... if I find the time.

Rae

I went to Korea for Golden Week

On Friday morning last week I boarded a train in Takaoka City, Toyama and headed off to Kansai Airport. I was bound for Seoul, Korea.

I met up with my friends who studied abroad at my high school in New Zealand and we headed off for a weekend of shopping, sightseeing, learning and eating.

Korea is a place I have wanted to go to for quite some time. It’s a place that not many New Zealanders seem to want to go to. That’s understandable, I mean why go to Korea when you can go to Thailand or Malaysia for much cheaper. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about going there for quite a while because it’s the middle ground between Japan and China. Clean, safe and capitalist whilst having awesome markets and amazing food. The language even sounds like it’s across between Japanese and Chinese strangely enough. I had no fears cruising around Seoul with my Japanese friends and felt completely safe at all times even with my big purple handbag and brownish blonde hair.

One of the reasons I wanted to go to South Korea was that it is, in fact, still engaged in one of the last relics of the ideological war between the communist world and the capitalist world. I took a tour to the De-Militarized Zone (DMZ) in part because I am my father’s daughter and in part because I felt it was a way to gain a deeper understanding of a war that I briefly and superficially studied in my Asia-Pacific Politics class during my Bachelor of Arts. I can tell you that I learned at lot in the 6 hours we spent on a bus with ‘the handsome Mr Kim’ from The Service Club. 78,000 won well spent! The Handsome Mr Kim told us about how the South Koreans feel towards the North Koreans and was incredibly knowledgeable about the DMZ and the Republic of Korea military, perhaps because he is a South Korean man and so had to do compulsory military service.

We took the Panmunjom tour to the Joint Security Area, a tour that South Korean citizens have to jump through hoops for months to be able to do and even then might not be allowed to do it. It takes you as close to the DPRK as a civilian can get without having to jump through hoops for months and then have to pay minders and whatnot. It was an amazing tour worth a blog entry of its own but I want people to do it if they go to South Korea so I’m not going to rave about it anymore. Instead I am going to point you in the direction of http://www.tourdmz.com . If you have the guts I would definitely recommend doing a tour to Panmunjom. I’ve reflected a lot since coming home and I feel like it brings a thing or two home if you know what I mean.

We stayed, shopped and ate in Myeongdong. It’s a really vibrant shopping district with awesome nightlife. We also visited Gyeongbok-gung Palace, Heounginji-mun Gate, Insadong shopping area and Dondaemon shopping area. I really enjoyed my trip to Korea. Things are really cheap, the food is really spicy but amazingly flavourful. The whole experience was amazing. The place is so colourful and bright. The people are remarkably kind, even if they are almost always trying to sell you something.

I am going to write another entry about my reflections on the DMZ tour and the reaction of some friends and “family” to my trip.

Don’t be misled though, I didn’t just go there for the DMZ, I went there for some culture too you know. Words cannot really describe the experience I had in my less than 3 days in Korea though. I really wish I was better at describing my intense/whirlwind trips with words.

"How is the Weather?" 'It's crazy!!!!'

I’ve lived in a total of 5 cities in my 25 years on this Earth and every place has had a distinctive set of weather phenomena that seem to define my time there. Auckland = brief afternoon showers every day in summer and 3 months of straight rain in winter. McLean, Virginia = pretty stable with the odd heat wave in summer and cold snap in winter, if I remember rightly. Dunedin = sunny, crisp frosty winters. Wellington = WIND, nothing like a good bit of wind to make your walk down Willis Street to work and enjoyable experience. Takaoka, Toyama, Japan = unpredictable as a woman with PMS and windier than Wellington at times.

Now, I am no meteorologist but I know what I observe and this post is going to be about what I observe comparing Auckland, Wellington and Takaoka.

A grand total of 18 years of having a home base (more than that now if I count the number of years my parents have owned a house there) in Auckland taught me what to expect there. Never leave home without your umbrella but if you do it’s ok because it’s just a passing shower.

8 months (yes it was that short) based in Wellington taught me the following. Never leave home without your hair tied back, hairbrush in your handbag and coat over your arm because if the weather changes, and it will, you will need to be prepared for it. Always leave home WITHOUT your umbrella though. The second you open it there will be a massive gust of wind rendering the umbrella dead in a second. Upon arriving at work your hair will require restyling and the outer layer of your clothes may need to be placed over a heater to dry out.

Takaoka is quite similar to Wellington in many ways except for the fact that the wind swirls and gets stronger and stronger and stronger with each gust. I’ve never experienced anything like it. Even Wellington’s wind is not as crazy as Takaoka’s. It feels like it blows constantly here. Every nice day you get there is at least a little bit of wind. Rain without wind appears to be almost impossible. That in itself creates issues for me because I hate breaking amazing umbrellas, and a lot of Japanese umbrellas are fantastic. There’s a cultural aspect to it too. Umbrellas have always been a status symbol here so if you give up on your umbrella you clearly have no class. The idea that there is no point in using your umbrella if it’s windy would never occur to Japanese people, nope you must endure the best you can. I quite often cruise into work wet to the sound of nervous laughter. I don't mind though, I'm from a place that's also windy and raining, 'tis only water, I won't melt.

There is not much more I can say about the weather here in Takaoka other than that my time growing up in New Zealand as a kid has taught me to appreciate that if you live on an island you must always be prepared for anything. Auckland taught me to expect rain. Wellington taught me to respect the wind. Takaoka is teaching me that if you expect rain but then disrespect the wind by opening your umbrella, you are going to have fun times fixing it (my umbrella was a gift from my father when he was last in Takaoka so it will be getting fixed, I just need the right tools). In conclusion; crazy weather makes life interesting! Yesterday was fine and slightly windy today is wet and very windy... my life is interesting...

This photo is not the umbrella that broke this morning, this was taken last April around the same time. :S It actually did bend like that, but it was only ¥100 and not a gift, so I tossed it.

Dentist!!!!

I'm just going to come right out and say this now before anyone thinks I'm a freak. I am in fact a freak. I do in fact LOVE going to the dentist!

My dentist friends back home are probably reading this thinking 'finally! someone who loves us!' I don't just love going to the dentist because I know a whole heap of them and probably taught (cell biology labs) some of the up coming graduates from New Zealand's only dental school. I love them for other reasons. I think going to the dentist is the best thing you can do for yourself because without your teeth you can't chew! If you can't chew, you can't eat!!! I love food!!! I love eating! Therefore, I love my teeth and who looks after my teeth?? My dentist! So I heart my dentist. I also heart my orthodontist, even though a little over 10 years ago she inflicted much pain on my choppers. There is at least one person in this world with the same shaped smile as me thanks to that wonderful woman! Seriously though, you only get one set of teeth so look after them.

Last night, I thought I was using my teeth for what they are supposed to be used for, eating raw carrots, when all of a sudden I noticed that some of the cement (glue, bond, のり, CR whatever you want to call it) holding my well hidden and very useful permanent/semi-permanent lower retaining wire in place had chipped off. It was most annoying. You know when you have a little bit of sharpness or pain or anything sticking out in your mouth that doesn't usually stick out? It was that kind of annoying. My tongue just would not stop playing with that darn bit of chipped cement. I decided, despite having used a few hours of my holiday at Christmas to go for a check up, to go to the dentist and make sure it was a) not going to fall out and b) that it got fixed!

An hour of surfing the interwebs at work hunting down a dentist later I asked a colleague to a) help me figure out if it was close and b) call them to check if there was a person who understood English on hand should my Japanese fail me. Straight after work I literally walked 300 meters from work to the clinic where I was the only patient and was seen immediately. I was so happy. They noticed that I spoke Japanese and decided to not bother with English and just got straight into it with the easy Japanese. I explained, using easy Japanese and gestures and with my tongue, which tooth it was, my colleague having explained what had happened on the phone. The nurse/dental assistant assessed it then got the dentist who also assessed it and asked the other woman helping and her to prepare some シアル (shi-aru [CR]) which was then applied straight onto the affected area after it had been cleaned up and dried out.

I've been through this procedure before at the orthodontist back home. Would you believe that this has happened to me before? Basically, what they do is whack some more cement on top as a quick fix until I decide to get the wire whipped out. However, usually when they are re-cementing it and they use a blue light to set it, they wear safety goggles and have me laying right back. Nope, not today, I was sitting up right and they were blue lighting with no goggles. However who am I to question it.

The whole experience was quite comfortable. There was some nice instrumental music playing on low volume in the background the whole time and the dentist was a man in his late fifties/early sixties. You bet your boots he probably understands English and appears very good at his job. The chairs weren't the most modern and there certainly weren't TVs on the roof like at my last dentist in Wellington but when I think about it the max-fac who took my wisdom teeth out didn't exactly have the most modern stuff in his consulting offices either.

Today was fast. In and out in about 20 minutes. Two people felt the area, decided the wire wasn't going to actually fall out and the quick fix that I expected came and went the same way the chip did. My tongue is happy. It's not running over something sharp any more. But the best part of the whole thing is that it all cost about ¥2400, bless the government health insurance scheme that I pay into.

So folks, if you want my advice. Look after those teeth. Japanese dentists can be good or bad it's trial and error but the facilities are never likely to be too bad. The people are kind and genuinely want to make sure your teeth are in good condition, heck they even gave me a blanket to keep me warm when I jumped in the chair and told me to look after myself when I left (I'm taking that as a subtle hint to lay off the raw ニンジン [ninjin/carrots]).

Make sure you get a check up annually, it may be the best thing you do for yourself. I know this because my uncle didn't go to a dentist for 50 years. He had to have them all out. He now has dentures that he actually uses, but before that the guy who took the teeth out and made the first set of dentures which were uncomfortable kicked the bucket with cancer, quite the long story there. You only have one set of teeth, be careful with them and if you have a retainer on your bottom teeth, make sure you bite your carrots using the back teeth, might be safer.

Trip to Japanese dentist. Check!! (even if I did cheat and it was for something that didn't need x-ras or drills.)

Why I like Hello Kitty

For many years now I have liked Hello Kitty. I have enjoyed her oval head, slightly rounded ears, round eyes, whiskers and no mouth since I was a child. I have been known to spend large amounts of money to acquire Hello Kitty merchandise and I have been known to be critical of some of the tackier franchises of her. But why? Why am I so passionate about this small, white, Japanese cat with no mouth?

The night I arrived at home in New Zealand to surprise my mother for her 60^th birthday the family friends who picked my sister and I up from the airport to deliver us asked me why I like her so much. My first response was ‘why does everyone ask me this?’. I then replied with ‘I like what she stands for.’

So what is it about the cat that has no mouth that gives me such an affinity with her?

The first thing is that Sanrio say that she has no mouth because she speaks from her heart. I love that concept. Saying what you mean is essential in life. I can’t lie very well. In fact I am honest as the day is long and often that is seen as me not having tact. In the past that has gotten me into biggest trouble and I’ve learned from that (I like to think). However, I will never compromise on the things that are close to my heart, though, nowadays I enact that in much more tactful way.

The next thing that attracts me to Hello Kitty is that she is just so incredibly innocent. She’s clean. She’s cute. She’s just had her 30^th anniversary and she hasn’t aged a second! She is kind to everyone. She doesn’t appear to have been tainted by some of the seedier elements of society at all. I think that’s why a lot of people like her actually. She stands for youth and innocence and I wonder if society isn’t trying to get a little of that back just a little. I like the innocence that she has. She seems as though she wouldn’t hurt a flea.

Another thing about her that I have loved all along is that she is a symbol of and de facto ambassador for the gentle side of Japan. There are some elements of Japan that are a tad stubborn and frustrating; occasionally on the world stage the Japanese government appears as though it is looking for a fight. Hello Kitty gives me hope that through her spread across the globe people will come to trust Hello Kitty, Japan and that Japan will come to trust the world.

When I was a child she was also that ubiquitous symbol of a country I was fast learning to love (ie Japan).

So there you go, there are a few of the reasons why I like Hello Kitty. There are more, but they are hard to articulate. Basically what it comes down to is that I just love what she represents and will for quite some time. And if you don't like that, that's your beef, I ain't changin', though I have been less inclined to display her merchandise in obvious places in recent times... except that hoodie. ;-)

They even have Easter Bunny Kitty! (Too tacky was not purchased!)

My trip to surprise my mother.

Over the weekend I went to Tokyo. In the process I popped off to New Zealand for a party.

It all started in July last year when I was in the UK visiting my sister. She told me that she had been speaking to Dad and that she was going to go home for Mum’s 60^th birthday and not tell Mum. Here’s me thinking ‘now how the heck is this going to work? We’re not known for our ability to not tell each other things like this.’ She also suggested that I come too. So, I paid off my credit card in over time and in January I booked it. Home for 2 days with a day either side of the flying in Tokyo.

On Thursday evening last week I made my way to Tokyo. Spent the night in a lovely hostel in Asakusa then spent Friday in Ikebukuro with my friend who used to stay with my family in New Zealand when she was an international student at another school. We visited Sunshine City and Toyota’s show room.

In Sunshine City we went to Namja Town which is owned by Namco and houses Ice Cream City, Gyoza Stadium and a fantastic curry restaurant that has Miracle Fruit (I’m going back just for some of that because I couldn’t afford it this time!). Ice Cream City is home to many many different, and we’re talking really different, flavours of ice cream. I decided to try Charcoal Ice Cream. It was actually quite nice. Tasted more of less like normal ice cream just with a bit of a gritty after taste. We also encountered a place called Restaurant Napalm. I told my friend that I thought it was rather offensive and she reminded me that the Japanese don’t tend to understand why these things are offensive. I wanted to ask her what she would think of someone calling a Japanese restaurant in the West ‘Genbaku’ (atomic bomb) but I thought it might be pushing it and this was the first time I had seen her in 10 years ish. Things like that can be somewhat awkward when it comes to cultural understanding.

The Toyota showroom was enlightening. It looks like most of their new models are going to be hybrid. I hope they’ve fixed the ‘acceleration issue’.

At the top of Sunshine City was an observation deck. It was fantastic. We could see the whole of Tokyo and maybe caught a glimpse of Mt Fuji in shadow. It wasn’t quite clear enough so we don’t quite know.

At 8pm on Friday evening my flight took off from Narita. 15 hours later, at 3pm New Zealand time I arrived Auckland. I was met by, dun dun dunnnnnn, an alarm going off in the customs area resulting in the backing up of 5 flights worth of passengers. I eventually got through customs and immigration after finding out that my luggage was sent to a different carousel to the one on the board and found my sister and former neighbours who were waiting patiently in the arrivals area for me.

We made our way home where the neighbours told Mum that they had brought the pot plants (or potted plants for those of you who think a pot plant is a certain type of not so legal plant) and could she come and help get them out of the car. My sister and I had slunk right down in the back seat. When she opened the back door we popped up and she got the shock of her life. She was rendered completely speechless and may well have been shaking. The whole thing was beyond belief for her. Especially having received some amazing cupcakes from us saying that were were sorry we couldn't be there in the morning.

We had a dinner of fish and chips and curry from the shops up the road and the lady who runs the fish and chip shop called me crazy. After dinner we watched the two NZ teams playing in the Super 14 get beaten by a South African team and an Australian team, both were good games, though. We were all exhausted by the whole big surprise so we went to bed reasonably early.

Sunday was Mum’s actual birthday so we took our time getting up and had pancakes for brunch. Dad and my sister went off to the new local mall, that my sister had yet to ever set foot in, while Mum and I sorted out the 17.8kg of random unnecessary stuff for storage until I get back. In the afternoon a host of people that Dad had invited on the quiet came over to wish Mum happy birthday. Including my uncle and his wife who had thrown her off the scent by calling to wish her happy birthday in the morning before driving up to celebrate with us. They had in fact been in the same crush as me at the airport the day before but they were in the front and I was in the back, most annoying and interesting.

It was really good to talk to a bunch of different people who have lived overseas and what not about the feelings that I have been having towards Japan at the moment. I think it’s been interesting here and my family friends were able to recognize that in what I was saying to them. However, elements of being here are starting to wear thin and that’s how I know it’s time to go home. That and the fact that I didn’t want to leave to come back to Japan on Monday morning.

Arriving in Japan on Monday night was good though. Free Japanese style curry at the hotel I stayed in at the airport! Also internet, to help me plan my day on Tuesday before cruising back to Takaoka.

I popped into Akihabara briefly before realizing that it’s not really where my interest lies with Tokyo. Then I popped into Shinjuku before realizing that the store I wanted to go to was in Shibuya. Then I found out that I didn’t need to go all the way to Shibuya if only I waited until the next time I can get to Kanazawa. YAY! Lush has finally opened in the Hokuriku!

I am now back. I am exhausted. The whole thing feels like a dream, but it was most certainly worth it!

Mum received the letter that I wrote to her and sent for arrival after I left on Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning (one of the two) and she is apparently very pleased by it. As a result of this whole trip I am marginally refreshed and ready to face the next 4 weeks of work before KOREA! Roll on Korea!!!

Observing Strangers

It’s amazing what traveling can make you notice.

I find when I travel that I get a) very aware of my surroundings and b) very stressed out. The stress isn’t really anything I can do much about. It’s that fear of not being able to relax when you are supposed to be relaxing or of missing that next train because you decided to swing into the place with the latest models of car on display. It’s the fear of having to sprint in heels up and down flights of stairs. But those are things I can deal with. You live, learn and survive right.

What I’ve been noticing today, and indeed, yesterday is the kindness of strangers. The Japanese man in Tokyo who says ‘thank you’ in English when I tell him to go ahead of me because I’ll have luggage on the escalator and he won’t. The one year old Japanese baby who looks me right in the eye and nods as I say ‘hello’ in English then smiles when I say it in Japanese. The lady next to me on the plane who tells me how best to sleep in that most coveted of seats, the middle aisle on the exit row (muahaha I love me an exit row!). She then asks if and how I slept when it comes time to disembark. It’s in the little things you know, like the Junior High Student letting his teacher go to the toilet before him even though she got there after him.

I’ve been noticing that people will often actively go out of their way to help someone else. It’s one of the things that make us intelligent. We help each other. We have morals. We seek to do right by others, or should I say other humans at least. Even a 1 year old child knows when they are making someone else happy.

Just now I witnessed the honesty of a café staff member. She accidentally double charged a customer. When she realized she brought the money back to the customer. The customer was so shocked that she insisted that the money be put in the tip jar. The staff member replied with ‘are you sure? Oh you’re very kind ma’am’. Watching this interaction made me tear up a little I must admit (I promise you I am not soft, I am just very tired!!!!! うそ！). I like seeing people be kind to each other. It increases my esteem in humanity.

Part of the reason that I am traveling at the moment is because my aunt is unwell. Her job is an incredibly tough one. She sees the dark side of humanity daily. It’s no wonder she has become ill. I would too if I had to bear witness to such things every single day of my working career. I love my aunt and I know that it would please her to see the numerous random acts of kindness that I’ve seen in the past 36 hours.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve also seen some of the slight more annoying sides of humanity in the past day too. Like a Japanese boy actively mocking my Japanese while I was within earshot me having attempted to help the flight attendants get this massive group of kids to move down the ramp and onto the plane so that other people can pass through. Or people pushing me out of the way because I’m foreign. I’ve also heard stories of how difficult it was to travel around Japan for an Australian couple who speak no Japanese whatsoever. They told me that they had no expectations but were still sorely disappointed. Darn. But all these things are outweighed by the huge list of random acts of kindness that I’ve seen.

I’ve even had someone who doesn’t know me at all go out of his way to find information I need about a university course I’m interested in for next and find a way for me to not have to live in (shock) Palmerston North for me. He didn’t need to do that and it was so kind of him.

So here’s the point of what I’ve been writing about. A kind act witnessed by a by stander will affect them too. You don’t know how your kind actions will affect all those around you and I think that’s great. I feel good this morning, maybe that’s the real coffee though, or is kindness the real coffee? Who knows? I’m now at the point of confusing myself.

Oh my goodness I just saw someone drinking beer at 7:30AM!!!

The end.

Snow... ice... and other frozen things.

February is full of interesting things in Japan.

It is the coldest month, though according to the calendar it is supposed to be the start of Spring.

There are snow festivals all over the show, the biggest one in Sapporo and a smaller one happening not far from me in Toga (by not far I mean quite the bus ride away).

People ski, people snowboard, people travel.

However, in the past week there has been an influx of snow, wind, ice and other such frozen goodies. People haven't been able to travel. Lots of my friends had plans to go to the Snow Festival in Sapporo this past weekend. Lots of friends had planes and trains canceled. This not such a cool prospect and it certainly isn't a warm one either. However, personally, I would rather be tucked up safe and warm in my shoebox apartment than spending extra time in the air or on a train waiting for conditions to be right for landing or indeed proceeding further on the journey.

I've come to despise "big snow". This much snow should be illegal and the thing is that this isn't even that much. It snowed for 4 days running and the highest it got naturally was about my knee, so about 50cm-ish. Snow is frustrating in so many ways! When you don't have a car it's even more frustrating. When you need to get to an electronics store so you can get the necessary adaptor to be able to straighten your hair it's even worse. It's all manner of annoying.

The level of annoying hasn't exactly been helped this week by the frosty looks I've been getting from some of my colleagues who could, if they felt like it, help me out a little on my short walk to work by making my not have to lift my knees so high. But no no, the foreigner can handle it. I've got friends who are in a far worse boat, walking much further than me to work and taking public transport to get there.

I've also been in a bit of a frosty mood. The weather hasn't helped my level of happy and when I found out that some of what I learned at high school about the indigenous people of Japan, the Ainu, was in fact not the whole truth. I learned about these people in 1998 when I started learning Japanese, how is it that they were mentioned in our culture lessons but not officially recognised by the Japanese government until 10 years later? I could not understand and had a fit. I can't say that I slept entirely well that night.

I've been working long hours preparing some students for some tests next week too. Frosty mood + tired would usually equal grumpy guts but these girls have been so enthusiastic about learning English this week that at the end of each day I've managed to leave work with a smile on my face.

My smile only got wider last night when, having frozen my butt off watching a friend play ice hockey, the team lost and he acted out the committal of ritual suicide (seppuku) with his hockey stick for his team's inability to win. It was the funniest thing I'd seen all week!

Yesterday was Waitangi Day and given that I had been thinking about Japan-Ainu relations earlier in the week I took a moment or two to think about how I felt being a person of white skin with blue/green/sunflower (as my student described them on Friday evening) eyes from New Zealand in Japan. I did this last year too, but I hadn't noticed things as much, having not been out of Japan in the 6 months that I had been here at that point.

Over the past 18 months I have been stared at, analysed, stalked, flashed, touched vaguely inappropriately by a potentially mentally a bit off man, and just generally felt as though I don't belong. Be it a frosty stare or curiosity it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am sometimes assumed to be Russian so it can often be a stare of distrust that I get. It's often not until I open my mouth that people warm to me. I was even the perfect target as the devil monster that the little kids threw beans at for setsubun this week, I mean sheesh, just because I am different... sigh, anyway.

This weekend I watched the New Zealand media with interest as Waitangi celebrations proceeded and as the country celebrated 170 years since its founding document was first signed. Waitangi Day is almost always a flash point. I used to look on through the eyes of the majority, but I think having been a minority for a while I can understand how people feel back home sometimes. When I return home in August to start my life in New Zealand off again I think I will find myself much more proud of who I am and where I come from as a New Zealander. I am proud of how far NZ has come in the past 170 years and I hope that we can continue on the path towards compensation, reconciliation and harmony. It's something we need and it's something that we are a darn sight further along on than some places. Long may it continue.

And so, a frosty week turned into a warm weekend. Today was the perfect day to go for a walk in the snow. I took myself out for coffee and hung out with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while. I now have blisters on my feet but that is all good, it was worth it. Besides, perhaps tomorrow will be frosty enough that any swelling that goes along with the blisters will go down quite quickly.

No pictures this week. It was too cold and I was too lazy to go out and take them.

Now, where is my ice cream!

Did I tell you about the monkeys?

I’m getting forgetful in my not so old age and cannot remember if I wrote here about my trip to the snow monkeys in Jigokudani (Hell’s Valley), Nagano or not.

The weekend before last I headed up to Nagano with my friends. It took us just over 3 and a half hours to drive from Toyama to Yudanaka, the place where 12 of us were to bed down in a ryokan for 2 nights.

It was 2 nights of eating, drinking, bathing in hot pools fed by natural hot springs and MONKEYS!

Day 1:

Drive to Yudanaka.

Eat.

Go to public bath.

Go to Karaoke.

Crash out on futons on tatami mats in the ryokan.

Day 2:

Get up.

Hunt down cellphone, left at public bathing house the previous evening.

Head up to Jigokudani where there is an Italian restaurant before heading into the valley.

Walk into the valley. See monkeys.

More bathing.

Sleeeeeeeeeeep glorious sleep.

Day 3:

Get up early.

Drive to Mastumoto Castle.

Check out the castle.

Drive back to Toyama.

So that was the itinerary. Now, about the monkeys…

These monkeys have been living in and around the Jigokundani (Hell’s Valley) for many many years. Jigokudani has geysers and hot pools that Japanese people go to bathe in. It is said that one day in the middle of the 20^th century a woman was bathing in one of these hot pools and a monkey chasing some food that had slipped into the pool jumped in with her. This female monkey apparently liked it so much that she stayed in the water and ate her meal. After this incident more monkeys came to join. The locals decided that this was not entirely healthy for humans and built a bath just for the monkeys further up the valley. This is now known as the monkey park where the monkeys now hang out and are looked after by the locals. The pool is kept clean by the locals who run the park. The monkeys forage for food around the valley and spend time keeping warm in the hot pool. They play and go about their daily routines in and around the park. Humans of course find this quite entertaining and are willing to pay to get in to see them. We pay ￥500 to get in. The monkeys attract many many visitors every year which I think is absolutely awesome.

Below is a slide show of the monkeys.

The New Girl Only Speaks English!!

Hi all,

Today is the students' first day back at school after winter break and there is a new student. She's from the Philippines and doesn't understand Japanese. I asked the teacher who helps the foreign kids if she understands Japanese. The reply was that she has barely even scratched the surface of being able to read it and really only understands English. There's a bit of a panic around the school about this despite having 6 English teachers plus one assistant teacher who's English is more or less perfect plus the foreign students' assistant teacher and me (though my presence is largely ignored in these matters).

Luckily, the head teacher for her grade has had the foresight to put her into his homeroom where lo and behold he has the best English student in the whole school. I was a little worried when I heard this morning about the girl but then I saw that he had buddied her up with little miss awesome at English and felt a lot better. I can't imagine how tough it is going to be for her though. She's 15 years old. Her parents have decided to up and move to Japan for what they perceive to be a good opportunity for training and what not. She has no friends here, yet. Being a teenager is hard enough without being moved to a place where you don't speak the language much less understand the culture and freezing your butt off having moved from a warm country to well, frankly, one great big pile of snow!

This girl is not like the Brazilian students that I have. They have grown up here. They went to primary school here. They speak the language and can, mostly, read. They act out because they're 'different' but they can survive quite happily in the school system here and make themselves understood in their teachers' native language. They can understand, for example, that they are getting told off because they swore at Raewyn in her native language in English class. This girl can't really do those things.

I think she'll be ok, with a little bit of effort on her part. When I was her age I could read hiragana and katakana plus about 20 kanji that were used in class on a regular basis. I had no application for my Japanese other than taking it as a subject at school. This girl has no choice but to learn it if she is to survive the next 9 weeks as a junior high school student in Japan. It won't happen overnight but it will happen for her.

Every time I see or hear of one of these kids who is brought to Japan not knowing the language and getting sent to school I gain a new found respect for the adaptability and perseverence of kids. That is something to never be underestimated. Never ever underestimate the adaptability of a teenager or their perseverence! It's amazing how much the human spirit can put up with and survive through. But that it a topic for another day.

Now, it's time for me to go back to the eavesdropping on the office buzz... what are they talking about? Of course it's: The New Girl Only Speaks ENGLISH! :O

What’s important???

What is important in life?

No really, what is important in life?

I live in Japan. My family and a large proportion of my friends, family and others I care about live in New Zealand. In Japan, I often feel isolated. In the two weeks I just spent in NZ I, as previously mentioned, had the chance to catch up with a lot of people that I care deeply about. For the next 8 months I am really going to miss those people!

The times I spent with them got me thinking, on the plane this morning, about what I consider important in my life.

For me, every day interactions are important. The smile on my Dad’s face, for example, when he’s laughing at me for being grumpy with Mum. The calming hug Mum gave me at the airport when I was incredibly grumpy this morning. The happiness in the voice of my friend when she tells me she’s heading off to see someone she really needs to see in another country all of a sudden. The teasing that can only come from a friend who knows you really well. The chat with the smiley shop assistant at Duty Free when you’re buying your (less) expensive (than usual) perfume. The shocked look on your friend’s son’s face when you tell him to wait in his mummy’s language that stops him from running off in a crowded mall.

What’s important to me sits in how people interact, connect and communicate. It’s in the good things we can all share. The impact we can have on each other’s lives. It doesn’t sit in the sheer amount of junk I’ve managed to accumulate. Nor does it sit in the, oh so desirable, plum wine (umeshuu). It’s about interaction. About the every day run of the mill human interaction. About the kindness of others etc etc etc. It may even be about people watching. Am sitting in a cafe in an airport right now watching 20 or 30 different people all interacting with their traveling companion and it is just fascinating, even the bored people look engaged some how. It's great.

Of course it also sits in my cat, who has been my best friend for 14 years, shoving his nose in my face in the middle of the night and demanding that I get out of bed and give his self feeder a good shake even though he can get the food out himself with the right flick of a paw. Having George’s wet nose purring in my face while he paws my cheek is pure joy! I’m going to miss that fur ball!

Have you figured out my New Year’s Resolution yet???

For those that are struggling, I’ll give you a hint, it includes the words “interaction” and “meaningful”.

Love and hugs all round.

Raewyn

Asuka Photos

These are the photos I took the night I went to the light up at Asuka in Nara.

Takayama Photos

Photos from my trip to Takayama

Takayama

So I’m hanging out in New Zealand now. It’s much warmer than where I live in Japan was when I left that’s for sure!!! Christmas and Boxing Day have been awesome and I am not less than a little sunburnt, oh well, we live and learn and wear sunscreen don't we?

But like I’ve said before I’ve got a thing or two to tidy up before I can describe my current travels.

A few weeks ago I went to Takayama with my wonderful Jamaican friend, Fay. Again, we went on yet another public holiday. We got up early in the morning for our 2 hour train journey there. Takayama sits just beyond Gifu’s border with Toyama on the Gifu side. It’s a very picturesque town famous for its beauty and its beef! I got me some amazing tasting beef and couldn’t be happier.

Takayama is a very traditional style town with rows of terraced houses come shops and the usual shrines and temples which is to be expected of any traditional Japanese town. As you can imagine I wasn’t only drawn there by the beef, though that was a huge part of it. I went there to engage in some temple-ing and some shrine-ing and some learning. I also went there by recommendation of my previously mentioned wonderful host family.

Takayama is an historical town on the Gifu side of the Gifu-Toyama border. It appears to have been one of the last bastions of the shogunate in the area at one stage and has some pretty awesome examples of traditional Japanese architecture, as well as being foreigner friendly. It was fantastic to be wandering around a town that had lots and lots of signs in English and where explanations in important places were written in both Japanese and English.

There is also, of course, the beef, oh the beef! It isn't as high quality as the wonderful and apparently extremely delicious Kobe beef but Hida beef is pretty darn good and I was quite willing to pay through the nose for it. The local rice balls on a stick coated in some sort of soy based sauce were also to die for. Food glorious food, that's all I am going to say just now.

I think the best way for me to describe Takayama is to put photos up. Coming soon once I work out how to do so from my Mac.

I am going to sign off there and go work out the photo situation.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and was neither lonely, nor cold, nor bored.

Happy Holidays!!!

Raewyn

Written 20 December 2009: Nara

I’m publishing this from NZ but am writing about my trip south from Toyama to Nara for part of what’s known in Japan as “silver week” a string of 2 or 3 public holidays in September that can become a decent long weekend if the weekend falls just before or during. As it happened this year Japan managed to get a 5 day weekend this year. I decided to use it to maximum effect and took a break to see my host family and decompress a bit.

I stayed at Grandma and Grandpa’s house again. A beautiful old style place in the Nara countryside, just gorgeous. I really love it there. It has a real “Japan” feel about it.

One of the holidays was Respect for the Aged Day, of course I knew that but didn’t really care. I think one should respect one’s elders at all times rather than needing a specific day to remember to do it. However, as per my usual manner on that day I got up and chatted to Grandma over breakfast while I waited for the others to arrive so that we could “respect the aged” by giving them their space. I hear that the simple act of me chatting with Ayako on Respect for the Aged Day made her day. My personal belief is that if you are staying with someone, using their toilet paper, you should at least talk to them!!! But she appreciated it, so all good. I also won by learning a small amount of Nara-ben (Nara dialect of Japanese) from Grandpa who seems to think I understand 100% of what he says. FYI I do not! But, I do my best, I guess from context and I pick out important key words. Generally I find that if I don’t at least try to figure out what they are saying I will never learn anything and I am all about learning from grandparents since I only had one and she only lasted 8 years of my life (God rest her soul).

That day was spent shopping. But the best part of my trip was on the first night of my 2 night stay. My host brother goes to high school in a really historic part of Nara and it happened to be having an illumination evening that night. The whole place was lit up with candles and lights. I got insight into ancient Japan!!! Heck I’m gonna go ahead and say it I went to ancient Japan. Asuka is the site of the former capital of ancient Japan. The oldest Japanese coin was found there. On the site of where the oldest coin was found they built a museum about the period which is immortalized (in a rather unreadable way) by the Manyo-shuu. The museum is largely devoted to the Manyo-shuu and the emperor has been there. I stood on the exact spot that he stood on and did what I always do, posed for a photo. I now have a record of me having stood where the emperor stood on the one night of the year that the Manyo Museum in Asuka is open to the public and free too. :D

We went to a famous temple or two along the way and visited the “Stone Stage”, actually a massive tomb, possibly for an ancient emperor.

I learned soooooo much about the history of Japan that night. No better way to learn about events and the importance of historical events than to go to the places where they actually happened. Just like there is no better way to learn a language than to immerse oneself in it and feel one’s way through.

I cannot stress enough how grateful I am to that family. They are always there for me. I know I can count on them if I ever need culture advice or just someone to keep me company in Osaka for the afternoon while I wait until an appropriate time to head off to the airport to catch a plane. Though, I do have to say that I have made the error of asking my host sister for advice on whether or not to buy an expensive item of clothing twice now, I really must learn that she will not stop me from buying it!

I do admit to being the proud owner of a Hello Kitty tartan scarf and a Hello Kitty hoodie. To quote the hoodie, “I love Hello Kitty and she loves me!”. There I said it, don’t dis me, Hello Kitty is the only name brand I can never resist. And that is a tangent for another day…

It’s Christmas in New Zealand for me. I hope everyone who reads this has an awesome Christmas wherever you happen to be.

More Death and Dying

This post was going to be more of my travels to London back in July but unfortunately there is another poignant topic that I've been pondering over the last week.

Last Friday morning, I arrived at work and did my usual attempt to listen to the Japanese and try to pick up on important words to figure out what's been happening and will happen at school during morning meeting. Once again I heard the word for passed away a few times and got horribly confused. My supervisor had first period free, not technically free but it was her office time. Anyway, she's sitting there doing whatever it is she does as a home room teacher while I set to work on a worksheet/looking at game ideas online, when all of a sudden she says to me 'so....'. I'm wondering what's going on and she finishes the sentence, 'one of our students' mothers passed away in a fire yesterday and XZY sensei (teacher) lost his father in completely different circumstances'. Umm whoa! My reaction was one of not knowing what to think or where to go from there really. I chatted to her about the circumstances surrounding the death of the mother of one of our students because I had heard that there was a big fire near my house from a friend.

It turns out that she, a woman in her 40s with a family and a good life, got trapped in the house when fire engulfed 6 houses. She was the only person who lost their life. She leaves behind at least a Junior High School aged son.

The other death connected to my school was that of a teacher's parent, I presume he died of old age.

That made 3 deaths connected to my school in 2 weeks-ish which got me thinking a lot. 3 deaths, 3 completely different circumstances. 3 almost entirely unconnected people (from what I gather) aside from my base school as a connection. It made me wonder why death had struck us so hard lately and what lesson I had to learn from all of this madness, because it honestly felt like madness.

I spent the weekend by and large in my apartment watching Sailor Moon, which I have now finished and am not ashamed to say that I love, and thinking about this whole idea of death again.
I sat and looked around my room, at my Toshiba Regza flatscreen TV, at my clothes, at my shoes (Lord help me!), at my crane machine catches, at my books, at my STUFF. I have TOO much STUFF! It is all crap and if I died tomorrow I wouldn't miss it. I mean I like a lot of it, I despise some of it (most of that stuff is slowly getting given away as prizes to my students as of this week) but I don't require it. It is not essential to my existance to have a Hello Kitty handbag or a map of Japan in 2 languages. None of this actually matters. But then I had to ask myself what does matter?

What does matter? Those of you who've known me long enough know that in my 2nd year of university working at a hospice made me ask that question as well. What actually matters? What of all the things on this planet actually matters? That question changed my life before and I think the string of deaths lately has had an impact there again. Even if it is only to remind me of that question and of how materialistic living in a materialistic society is making me, it is having an impact.

The loss of 3 people connected to me through my base school has jogged something in my memory, in my soul even. What matters? What matters to me is the people around me who I care about and who care about me. What matters is the world that I live in, the people and animals in this community that deserve a world where their rights are protected. What matters to me is how I live my life and how I serve others.

I've been so selfish lately. My move to Japan was me me me, all about how I could satisfy myself and my love of Japan, how I could improve my Japanese and get a 'better' job when I go home. It wasn't for entirely selfish reasons that I came here but a large chunk of those reasons were. The recent spell of deaths related to my school reminded me of that.

I've had to think about how I serve my community best. How I support my friends here and back home. How I live my life in a way that would make my family and friends proud of me. How I live my life in a way that will make myself proud.

I spent a lot of time this weekend, in between the start of an annoying cold and Takaoka's 400th Anniversery Celebrations, thinking about this idea of "what if I died tomorrow?". I came up with quite a few blanks actually. The people that I haven't been in touch with in ages. The things I haven't thought about for a while. The things I wish I hadn't said and the things I wish I had said. The things I am yet to do and the places I am yet to go. There's so much to this idea of 'being finished' and stuff that I don't know if I'll ever be ready to die, so it's a darn good thing that I don't have cancer (touch wood!) because I wouldn't know where to start.

So!..... I shall start with this anyway, just in case, because unfortunately, as shown in the past few weeks for me, you just never know when your number or someone else's number is going to be up.

If you're my family reading this, I love you! xxxxxxxxooooooooooxxxxxxxxx

If you're my friend and I haven't told you how much I care about you and love you lately, take it as read that I do care about you and do love you because I just said it! I love you all!

If you are my acquaintance and I haven't told you that I care about you then take it as read that I do.

If I don't know you at all and you are reading my blog, nice to meet you and thanks for reading it, sorry it's a bit boring.

And that's me done for today. Off to see my host family in a different prefecture to tell them that I love them this weekend, because you just never know.

I'm going to borrow something from a dear and trusted friend now (thanks bro).
Rae Recommends: Telling the people around you that you care, because you just never know.

**Raewyn**

This is reality!

Hi!

So, I've been meaning to write about my trip but the last month since I got back to Japan has been so hectic that I haven't had time.

I will publish my travel diary soon. Promise!!!

This is about death and dying across cultures, namely my reaction vs the Japanese reaction to the sudden death of my colleague in the small hours of Friday, August 28, 2009.

My school secretary had been having a constant headache since last Monday morning and had used annual leave to go the doctor three times before she collapsed on Thursday night and was no longer with us come 2am Friday. It was a brain aneurism.

On Friday morning I arrived at school, where I hadn't been for 2 days whilst visiting my primary schools, only to find the school principal on the phone in the teachers' room. I had barely sat down when he called us all to attention and talked about how she had died. All I understood was sore head so I assumed she'd had the flu or something and that we all needed to be on alert. But no when it was translated for me by the head of English who was told as soon as she entered the school I found out that the most happy go lucky member of staff in the school had died suddenly from what my mother tells me is quite the quick way to go.

For me, Friday was spent with my tissue box and bumbling around in a state of shock, I was almost catatonic apart from the sudden leakage of tears every time I thought about it. I also spent the day trying to find someone who would give me a ride to the pre-funeral.

For my colleagues it was spent holding it together after the initial look of shock. I think for them it was deciding which to go to, the pre-funeral or the funeral. The funeral is so formal and intimate that only the closest people and most high ranking, I guess, go. I had to find myself an English teacher to take me to the pre-funeral because I loved that lady even though I had little interaction with her. I believe my reaction to the lack of emotion shown by my colleagues that were at school that day was one of anger 'why aren't they showing any emotion?!' etc, but I now realise that they have their way and I have mine and the students didn't know yet so it was better not to wear their hearts on their sleeves in that instance.

I was on my way to another event, where I did my best to hold it together while I hung out with some Japanese friends of mine, when the call came that I could go to the pre-funeral with my old supervisor who is very good at teaching me about the cultural stuff. I was allowed to go to the 2nd most intimate and solemn event these people have and I felt incredibly honoured.

Yesterday, I was numb. I had some things I needed to prepare for the funeral. 5000yen in an envelope with my name on it and some other kanji that I couldn't read. A black shirt to wear with my suit and a belt because I thought my suit pants looked terrible without. I needed to mentally prepare myself.

At 6pmish I was picked up by my colleague. She asked me if I'd gotten the envelope. I said 'yes and Mama in Nara told me on the phone to put the money face down, but I need you to help me write the kanji, I got a plain one because I didn't know what kanji was best'. She wrote on for me when we parked at the venue.

The ceremony was short, only about 40 minutes. 15 minutes of incomprehensible chanting and singing by 2 priests followed by a couple of eulogies, one by her husband who talked about what a wonderful person the deceased was. Then it was everyone in the room's turn to file past the coffin, pray and place incense in urns in front of it. Then we filed out, receiving gifts of tea and rice crackers as we left.

It was so solemn and so calm. It was nothing like a western wake where you drink to the deceased and get rowdy to check that they're good and dead. It was a wonderful experience and I told my colleague how grateful I am to her for taking me. I found it very therapeutic and think, hope, it has helped me to process the sudden death of someone very special.

On the way home my colleague and I talked about what would happen at the actual funeral and then talked about western funerals. She then told me what when I get in the house I should throw salt on myself to keep the evil spirits away. I did that when I got in and feel better now than I have in days. May it worked. Who knows whatever at least I know that the pre-funeral helped me get over the death of my colleague and am feeling much better about it all now.

Suppressing one's emotions seems to be the Japanese way and it seems to work for them. I don't think it would work for me but I'm a heart on sleeve kinda girl.

Now, for the next couple of weeks, no more drama, no no no more drama. ;-)
Please!

I love you all, life is too short not to.

**Rae**