Thursday, June 3, 2010

2 months left: Reflecting...

I only have 2 months of this experience to go.

I almost can’t believe that on Saturday June 5th 2010 I will only have 2 months left in Japan. The past 2 years have absolutely flown by.

The people around me seem to have not noticed that ALT san is leaving. That or they know and just don’t want to admit it, which would warm my heart no end.

Lately, at times when I have no classes to teach, I’ve been reflecting on my time on the JET Programme. What it has done for me as a person. What it has done for my students and colleagues. What impact have I had on them? What impact have they had on me? I’m inclined to say that the answers to these questions will not be fully clear until I return home. One night when I’m sitting in Dad’s armchair with the cat on my lap watching TV it will all become clear, I’m sure of it. At least that’s what I hope.

Looking back, I have this haze of emotional ups and downs. A blur of classes, students and people; of fun, farce and fear. My life in Japan has been a rollercoaster that has taught me so much about myself. It’s tested my limits. It’s taught me my downfalls. I like to think that it has strengthened me as a person and solidified who I am.

For me the JET experience has been as much about being an expat as it has about living in Japan. It has forced me to interact with people that I might never have been friends with back home and it has taught be to stand on my own two feet as me, Raewyn.

More than anything it has taught me to make an impact. To get out there and do stuff to help where help is needed.

A friend of mine, she knows who she is, told me in a Facebook message during my first year when I told her that I had decided to stay for a second year, to not stay away too long because ‘New Zealand needs you’. I have no idea what she meant by that or what she sees in me that I don’t. But I can tell you one thing, I know more about who the ‘you’ is that she was referring to.

I’m sure one day all will become clear. What did she mean? What did she see that I don’t? What am I supposed to do? I honestly, have no clue right now.

There will be more of these musings over the next few months I think as my experience comes to a close. Just now though, I have packing, studying and selling to do.

Anyone want any of my books? My heater? My tofu-san soap dispenser?

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